Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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