This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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