If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize