Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
