Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
