I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i think my tv is drunk
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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