Don't make out with my wife yet
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The power of my boobs compel you
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
