Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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