you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize