i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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