I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
