she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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