You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
