I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
