if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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