Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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