Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
