he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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