You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
