If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
