Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
