Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
