in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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