I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
