We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
