i barfeds in our rink
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
