I only kidnapped one of them. chill
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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