you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize