Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
