there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You've changed since you got that strap on
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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