I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
