i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
