Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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