I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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