when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
