Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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