she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
When are your genitals available?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
