carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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