she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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