3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
