so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
