im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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