It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize