I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize