the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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