Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
