ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
