Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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