there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
