Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
