He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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