sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It's blow job season.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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