Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
