ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
