Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
FUCK WHALES
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
