Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
