it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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