We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
