I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
